Life.. from a Tiny Head

It has been few days and a face comes to my mind very often... A smiling, bright, shy, innocent face… He is Surendranath Babu… Don’t go by the name… more the name seems to be long and matured, you will find him more innocent, immature, loving and small… he is just 7-8 years (should be by now).. I met him while going for OUTREACH with Ma’am on Sundays to a village at Ettimadai near our ASB to teach Harizon children (these are children of all the workers and so called “Harizons”).

This village is full of sparkling kids with enormous energy and sweetness. Though they hardly take any breakfast but you can not see that on their face when you reach there on Sunday morning. Rather you will find all smiling faces eagerly waiting for you wearing the best dresses they have, nicely combed hairs and few girls with powders on their neck and chicks, lipsticks :-) ...Amazing! I can’t speak Tamil so in spite of being natural teacher (???) I was not able to teach many. But this boy seems to be liking me more and was my favorite student (U can say only student), he is very shy, loving with big round eyes, Flabby Cheeks, sweet voice and calm as compared to others. I used to teach him by pointing to a tree and saying out “Tree”.. Pointing to a House and saying “House”… Like this we used to communicate like this and this was our teaching method "see and Learn- Visual Learning :-) "… He also used to tell me many Tamil sentences.. But being a poor student I could not grasp much.. except “Teriyaade (Don’t Know)".. But he picked up a lot.. “Tree”, “House”, “Bird”, “Leaf”, “Leaves (He he he.. differentiating singular and plural and make him understand was also a big task J ”), “Dog”, “Grass”, “Sand” etc.. by pointing out and Many more from his book… He also used to narrate many things that happened with him in Tamil (though I never understood).. The interesting point was we were very comfortable with each other.. I used to teach him whenever I used to go to village, almost all the Sundays..

I find it really interesting. Two guys without knowing each other’s language, were so cozy and communicating with each other for more than hour, every week… He never used to go to anybody else. I mean Just think of a boy 5-6 years old.. is so comfortable with one non Tamil guy.. If both were matured guys its ok.. but how can a small boy just ignore all Tamil speaking guys (the other students who also used to visit) with whom he can speak his heart out, who could also understand and reciprocate. In stead he preferred to be with me always on Sundays. Later on it happened so that I used to go for him only to the village.

This made me realize of one very important thing about human life that it’s the unconditional love without any motive, the genuine care which made this unbelievable bond that never broke till I left college and not even till today. He is very clear in my mind.. Language had nothing to do about it. Language can never be barrier or a reason to hate somebody or not to be able to communicate with anybody or to discriminate any body. It’s just another way of expressing ourselves. We can not differentiate people on the basis of language. Love is more powerful language than any spoken one and the only language that can unite all of us on earth and can make us real Humans.

There have been many instances in my life where I have realized the same. But experience with this small boy was the most powerful and I deeply thank him for making me realize this. I am sure this faith in Love

developed

within me is one of those deep rooted values, which builds his/her identity to self, to world, to the supreme power.

Let me tell you little more about what this boy has done to me. This was on a Diwali Celebration in the village and we (students) were there with children in the village. There were few races among these kids like lemon, short distance race etc. In one of the short distance races Surendranath Babu was also participating and I was just standing on the other side of the finish line to motivate him. The race started. I was encouraging him “Come On!” “Come On” ... He was running hard, not even looking at any body or competitors but me, As if his race was to reach me and he ran faster. When he almost reached the finish line, he just jumped, he jumped on me and hid in my arms by holding me with faster breaths. I can never forget that moment, He was not bothered about being first or second… he dint even look whether he was first or second or third he was just so happy that he could reach and be in my arms.

This particular incident has remained very clear in my mind and always gives me strength. If I consider myself as something that he really loved and wanted to reach, then I see this incident as big lesson for life.

This teaches me - to win what we need is focus on what we love and dream to achieve, its not about looking at the competitors, its about my own love for the goal, which will create the desperation to achieve, will give the energy to reach faster and finally to win without being stressed but by enjoying every moment of it.. and surendranath Babu won that race on that day, he came first.

His goal was to reach me, so he was very happy to reach me and did not bother whether he would win or lose.. he taught me one of the finest lessons about life. Life is not a race, If we consider it as a race then we can never enjoy the moments and we can not enjoy the result, we can not share it with others also because we will always compare ourselves with others. Then, what’s the point in being first or second. We need love and people to share our achievements and then a failure is also a success, other wise every success is a failure…

Its not winning or losing, its about doing what we love... If we are doing that, we are already successful, Winner.. otherwise, we are failure, does not manner even if my photo comes on fortune500 cover page. And unfortunately most of us don't know what we actually want, so we compare and start racing, we don't look back, we don't care for anybody, we become selfish. And one day when we are physically unable to do anything, we think why was I running, what was I running after actually! and then we start realizing how small things matter in life and how many moments we could enjoy in life!! Why do we need to study big case studies to know things better, while simple things can teach the best things! It’s that “Harijon”, the 6 year kid who taught me all these with such a small incident.

I don’t know what he will do after a few years; he may just be a simple worker in a dirty place. May be he wont even remember me and he should not because I have not done anything for him, I could not teach him to make him eligible for better work. I just left him selfishly to earn Money.. To make my life Comfortable(?).. Better(?).. When can I go out of this materialistic life.. I don’t know… But one day I will... if any of you meet him, show him the house.. he will say “House”.. or show him the bird and he will say “Bird”… I know he will.. even after 15-20 years...

When You are Fighting with the Pig, You should Know that You will get Dirty

I have taken so many days to write this blog… I have thought a lot about it… and I could not think of many things… except a few random thoughts… ya ya…obviously about life… about right and wrong… I was just trying to figure out the difficulties of a person who wants to be fair in life in everything that he/she does... and I realized it’s just near impossible to be fair in all dealings in life… (pl note – I have said near impossible…I just hope somebody would be there who actually does)...

Why!! External factors are so influencing that they would just try to break everything within... so, how does one want to be fair… let me put it in one sentence… its just by trying to balance the equation "what I give should be equal to what I receive and finding out an equality among everything, every body". I think it covers almost every thing…

External factors are just innumerable and actually unavoidable… it’s because most of us want more in less time…lets talk of work place (most of the people spend most of their productive life period in this place).. If you observe, most of the people are bothered about their personal gains… what benefits, privileges, how fast promotion, increments etc etc… very few think how to serve my customer better, what is expecting out of me, how to help my subordinate in solving his/her problems, how to be more productive, how to reduce wastage, how to benefit others below in the hierarchy etc etc, forget all these things, how many people ask themselves whether they are doing their job at least sincerely… Bosses shout at their subordinates, but boss himself does not know what exactly he wants from him…

Surprisingly, most of us consider moving up the hierarchy is actually to rest and relax… again we want more in less time and minimal effort… otherwise you think, as you move up the hierarchy, actually you become more and more dependable on the people below you… you take decisions based on their inputs… you may not be able to reach the 2-3 steps below but still you are taking decision for them… your decision may be a new life or damage for them… so how can you relax.. You need to be so careful, so calculative, so intuitive to take the best possible decision…

Again few more examples of “we want more in less time and minimal effort”… highly educated people use their knowledge to take bribe…how!! Assume a consultant or a government official to pass a project… you can just make him a dumb(uneducated) if you can offer him some fine cash! He will ignore all very obvious mistakes in the project planning etc… But if you don’t offer him anything, he will just use all his knowledge to find all the very minute loopholes from your submittal… you will be surprised to see his knowledge then… God!! If he could utilize his knowledge in guiding the project correctly… now think, so many layers are there where you have to pay without any reason… out of book…

and how do you compensate those.. screw the bottom of the pyramid, dude… its so simple.. because they have no knowledge, no voice, no support… they will accept anything… and we will go and teach them 5S and expect the minimum waste and highest productivity from them… from that guy who when working is thinking how do I pay fees for my middle one… elder one has already dropped.. who is always worried that no body should fall sick at home… doctor’s fees not in the budget!...but still he performs.. he has no choice... he gives the out put and we make our input...

How to avoid it... No it can not be avoided...unfortunately, its the system now... because everybody needs money... even to maintain relationship you need money... your income, so called status, savings all that matters a lot... so!! how to do it... answer is "When you are fighting with the Pig, You should know that you will get dirty"... probably you should try your best to minimize these and save the bottom... may be by sacrificing some of your own profit... but it depends on your value system... its all in your mind...

Bosses are teaching about ethics and taking everything whatever possible to their home (if nothing is possible to take home, they may appreciate a waste basket and take it home as a remembrance :-) )… why!! Come on, He is sweating out for this company… Again He wants more in less time and minimal effort…

You hate one guy like anything because you know he will ask for a favor for anything he has done for you as a part of his duty… say, some facility to be made available (you are eligible for it actually) by some official… so, you will have to please him… offer him some gift…he wont mind accepting…

Demand & Supply, as you know runs almost everything… even relationships :-) who ever demands he gets… whether he is eligible or not… that’s secondary… its just like among all children one is very demanding and always cries aloud, non stop… you give him first whatever he wants to keep him quiet...

Now since I have spoken so much of negative factors ( I have skipped other social status issues, will discuss some other time)…where is the right or wrong… is there any problem.. yes there is problem.. for those who wants to be fair… who wants to do justice to their work, to their commitments… who wants fulfill every thing that is demanded by the work, from a relationship… its near impossible for them to keep themselves going motivated…when every time their value system being attacked by all factors around…

It may be difficult to to earn easy money,, but more than that it is difficult to say NO to easy money.. especially when you are still struggling to meet your basic needs… I bet there are people who have the courage to do that… but everything around them are so provocative, hostile that sometimes their balanced equation of life shatters pretty often … some change.. mostly can not.. because its their genetic formation (by saying this I wanted to mean that its instilled within them)… They know that they will be always neglected because they don’t demand, they are work oriented so they don’t think much how to know earn more in less time and with minimal efforts…so they struggle for their basic but yet they don’t lose their self esteem.. hey! Is Maslow’s law being violated here!… can somebody still achieve the state of self esteemed without actually satisfying basic needs... may be.. may be not…

So, how should they remain “good”, how should they keep the spirit, how do they keep them selves motivated… may be they should know that “if you are fighting with pig you should know that you will get dirty” (this is my own quote, so kept highlighted…)… may be they have to realize what great Geeta teaches “You can only control what you, how much you do, how you do, but You don’t have any control over the outcome”…

The purpose of this post was to make us think a bit about our roles & responsibilities as an employee, as a boss, as an owner, as anybody in any role…Impact of our doings on others lives… When we want to achieve something, we say ‘nothing is impossible’, ‘we make our destinies’, ‘I am the only eligible for it’ etc etc.. then when we are questioned for something, when we are asked to give something down the line why should we say ‘its their destiny’, ‘they will be at bottom either way’, ‘how can it be possible’ etc etc…

Lets also not justify everything by saying that ‘there is nothing wrong or right’.. I believe its there.. anything which affects others lives negatively directly or indirectly, that’s WRONG.. because being human, to preserve humanity is our first duty… lets find the right people, do right to them, and they will always do right …if we cant do anything, lets do at least our part properly, sincerely…Lets be sincere, honest at each level, at work place, at home, in relationships…Problems will still be there, but solution of each of those problems will be towards uplifting the society, will be towards preserving humanity, will be towards making a better world… and not to please a particular individual…

Lets start value relationships more than any thing else... then you will find money is just a tool, its needed but its not for which we need to live... there are many other pleasant things in life... then we all will think of humanity, we all will have one objective "to be happy"... we will prefer a smaller work place which is a very dear to all, where everybody is happy... than I guess it will be a better world...

Some one who wears a Genuine Smile Always

Today I will write about one guy named Tom from China (I don’t know his exact designation – but should be at high position) and whom I met during our work for a Project. I had just landed in UAE and the very next day I was on that Site, where an Aluminium project was in progress... Things were not right there... I did not understand most of the things… as I had no experience in this work… There I saw this Guy, who also just landed from China for this Construction Project.. And somehow he was also lost because the earlier engineer had done some marking which were not clear… He was trying again and again to find the actual line and marking… He doesn’t speak English.. so he had an interpreter.. We were getting restless.. But he was not tired.. he was trying with all sort of methods to make it right… Though I was getting restless, but I had grown some respect for him seeing his dedication and commitment.. He was not blaming the other guy or was not avoiding the problem... he was trying to fix the problem…

Unfortunately we lost that project… But again after 2 months they came up with some other work… and that Guy came to our office…Surprisingly he identified me and came forward to handshake… With a Genuine smile.. yes I am saying Genuine ..because most of us don’t know how to do it… then he explained what to do (he used an interpreter).. But I could see his involvement in work.. he was trying continuously to explain each and everything.. he, himself was checking cladding sheets… Our driver said he himself was loading the sheets also on truck from store by checking if these were in good condition or not… I should mention here that this guy was new to this place.. temperature was approx. 37⁰C (heat is more in UAE because of sand, temp is not right measure of heat).. and he has come from China…A very cold country.. But he got adapted so fast.. He was completely into his job…

When I asked how does he like the place.. he says “Its very hot… I am very happy when I am in China..”.. But damm… he was working hard… Almost 6 hrs under direct Sun…I realized the Chinese dedication (if I can say it)… lets not say its Chinese or something.. Its his dedication.. “He” can be from anywhere… The best part about him is… He looks for a solution and he always smiles... As I said… its genuine.. Just like a child smiles… without any motive, without any prejudice.. He smiles at everybody the same way… and always look happy, energetic…

When ever he would see any body from our office visiting him at his office he will wear that smile and come forward and shake hand… He does not discriminate…

Today also I met him.. and he was the same.. First he took papers from my hand… He saw it was an Invoice… He was not interested.. he gave it back.. He gets excited to see engineering drawings more than financial documents…

I asked him when will he go home.. he said Jan30th, 2011.. he will stay for 1 month.. I asked him if he was married… first he dint understand what’s marriage.. then I asked “wife??”.. He understood and a bit shy, more happily and bit more excitingly he showed his wife and his daughter’s photo… Showing his child’s photo… he was saying something like ‘Aababa’.. I got it… It was his daughter…

What a genuine personality... What an attitude... What sincerity…How Lively.. May he always smiles same way… Genuinely and be happy…

That Guy!

So.. that Guy whom I was thanking...!!! hmm... He is Ripan Gain.. No not any celebrity... very simple, shy, ordinary Bangladeshi boy..boy!! no!!.. a young guy...whom I have assigned a new job on 10th June, Thursday... He was an ordinary labourer... but was intelligent and sincere than others... He came one day to me for some salary related issue and then I found this guy has got some sort of u can say self esteem.. he was hesitating to ask for money... I could see an untold pain on his face... as if he was not liking what he was doing... as if he could do something better.. as if he deserved better...On further discussion I found he is quite educated... and was studying management in college...A computer literate...So, decided to move him to some other position.. but where... ! Anyways got a new position required to be filled...took reviews also from other foremen/site in charges... All said he was a good learner... I needed to channelize that energy.. I needed to give him something that would make him happy.. and then I was confident he would deliver more than expected... So, I put him into the new role after taking approval from management...

And... Let me tell you... when I explained him about the new role... He was about to cry... No exaggeration... I could see it clearly... After explaining it all he came forward and shook my hand and said. (in Bengali -- I am translating here)... "Sir, How can I thank you for this promotion...U have given me this opportunity I will give my best..."...

Let me tell you.. there was no salary hike in this for him.. except I told him I would try to pay him for his phone bills... But how happy he was... It left me thinking again.. What is it people actually need...

let me share a message that I have received from him today surprisingly just when I started writing my first blog... it wrote exactly this.. "Congratulations to you. I want such as job that you told me. I read B.Com. 2 years after passed S.S.C and H.S.C.. My subject was Management. I have completed Diploma in Computer Science and ICT. I am wishing that you success your every aims. Good afternoon. Bye..(Ripan Gain)"...

Just imagine how many people like him would be under treated... I dont know exactly how will he perform... I will update you on that as well.. But I feel its our(the so called educated and having some authority) responsibility to also look at people at times...to find out if any body is under treated (may be unknowingly also)... do they need something.. If we always pile our own wants( not NEEDs) to overlook their NEEDs... then how is it justified...Before we argue on what we deserve let us stop once and ask this question also what do they deserve...

How can I ignore them who have made it possible to meet our WANTS by sacrificing their NEEDs...

And trust me.. its very easy to make them happy... may be because they don't know what they worth...Lets help these silent followers to at least give them what they deserve...

So.. lets.. think a bit...Lets be Human to Human... Not Machine to Human and Not Human to Machine..

Got Into it Finally :-)

Thanks to that guy who has finally got me into this which was always there in my mind.. dint get it! I am talking about starting a blog which was there in my mind for long.. and That guy.. hmm .. yes..my first blog will be about him…

I have always been confused about life.. how to live it.. whats right.. whats wrong… probably I am not that matured to find these answers.. may be one day I will find…

I realized that I am like one who loves to talk about people, who loves to observe people and who loves to see them happy… After all what is there otherwise on this earth.. Nature (I am including all living and non living species in nature except human being) and People.. Is there anything else.. All others are created by People and for People.. Everything… Then how can be anything else be more important than these two.. So my writing will always reflect these two and will be about lives, life, about emotions, expressions, dreams and many more in my way.… Be ware! U may get confused too like me about life… but I would be happy if u put forth your arguments.. if u help me to understand things better.. the right the wrong.. I would expect arguments.. (Though I avoid it face to face.. But definitely not here..) Lets argue to know better.. to help better.. to make better for others..to make happier